When I was in high school, i fell in love (don't we all!) I thought we were going to be together forever etc etc. To my surprise we broke up, shocker right? Well no matter what people say about kids not knowing what love is. It was the most painful time of my life and I've learned a lot from my mistakes. So even though I'm at the ripe age of 20 i feel like i know enough to give you a couple pointers on REAL relationships, not the fairytale bullshit about a vampire and a were wolf. Now I realize this is one of those lessons your going to have to learn the hard way but film and book writers have screwed us over..hard. All those love stories and romance movies we watched growing up, the very thing that was drilled in to our little brains about love, that's all crap! No guy is going to stand outside your window, in the rain, playing your favorite song out of your window, I know, its disappointing. Men are simple creatures, the sooner you learn it the better off you will be. Obviously some guys will be more emotionally sensitive than others, but if you hold your men up to The Notebook standards you will forever be disappointed for the rest of your life. With that said, here's how to get the most out of your relationship
1. Communicate: After a certain amount of time together, your guy is going to stop doing those cute little things he use to do to impress you, the way he see's it, there's no point hes already got you, this is when most relationships lose their spark and you will learn real quick if you two are in it for the long run. Your going to have to come to terms with the fact that your not always going to treat each other the way you did within your first year of dating. But that doesn't give him any excuse to stop showing you how much he cares about you. Turn the TV off and all other distractions and tell him how much it means to you that he still appreciates you, and every now and then you need to be reminded of that appreciation. Then ask him if there's anything you can do for him that will reassure him of your gratitude. Making it about you both and not just you will make him more apt to cooperate
2. Fight Fair: Your going to get into fights but the trick is to fight effectively and productively, but this is not easy. Avoid low blows, says things like..."I understand you feel this way, but I think if we approach it this way we could resolve the problem". I know that sentence is a little broad but try to use it as a guide to communicate what you need to say. Any chance to learn and grow as a couple through solving disagreements is ideal. It will make you both stronger and better capable of handling future fights. Communicate and hear what he's saying, by letting him know you understand where he's coming from it will save a lot of back and forth and he will know your listening to him and that his feelings are important to you, which leads me to my next point ..
3. Listen. But your point is obviously more valid than his right? Not always, even if this is the case you still need to listen to what he is saying and consider his feelings, its the only way you will know where hes coming from and only then will you be able to come to an agreement.
4. Don't expect too much, Don't expect too little. Its hard knowing where the line is drawn between being a pushover and when your entering bitch land. On one hand you don't want to be taken advantage of and on the other you don't want to be that girlfriend if you know what I mean. Set fair standards for your relationship, stick by them and communicate them with him, ex. No staying out past midnight on weekdays. Follow your head, if you feel like he is doing something unfair to you, talk to him about it and suggest ways to correct it.
5. Balance your time. Make sure you have quality time to spend together, spending time together dosn't necessarily mean you two as a couple are getting anything from it. No distractions, no kids, just you and him, who knows you might just learn something you didn't know about each other. But it is equally important that you have enough time for yourself. You know what they say, absence make the heart grow fonder!
